To the person I look up to, My Dad...

I got the notion of sharing this article when I was returning to Chennai, the other day with few hours remaining for me turning into an adult from a teen.. It was the time for some realizations, commitments, blah blah.

I have never been close to anyone like my parents lest few friends.. But, I have been always more close to my Mom, sharing everything with her and asking for guidance more than my father.. This is not about how relatively I like my Mom and Dad.. This is about what I have realized or say felt about my Dad !! Originally, I wanted to write something about my Dad on Father's Day but I was waiting for his birthday.. In the end, settled for mine.. Ah, lets cut the crap.. and dig into my thoughts to see what I actually wanted to say!!

#NOT.. BUT.. SO..

I look up to my father all the time, not because he is successful but he is CONFIDENT that he can be successful even after years of toil, not because he is rich but his wisdom, situational abilities, rich circle he has surrounded himself with (few trust-worthy friends and many notable acquaintance ), not because he is a genius but he is passionate about what he does ( only when he does ), not because he is a celebrity but because he and mom always made me and my bro feel we are special, not because he is in a responsible position but I saw a reformer in him.

#AURA

I have never seen him cry nor sit dull even at the toughest of his times that I have witnessed him in.. He always had that calculative mind which clicked most of the times.. Though he was out of business due to unexpected reasons (which happen to occur most of the times), I have never seen him broken nor did he yield in to any other stuff (uknowwhatimean). The loss he has seen, the failures he has gone through, Man it should take a lot of confidence ( I have a better term in Tamil - 'Nenjazhuththam' ) and he perseveres it yet..

#PURE LOVE

I have never seen a man who doesn't sleep for more than 2 hours for 6 months in continuum.. I saw a devoted son doing the same, my father as a devoted son to his father.. I have my grandpa saying to my Mom, "Please leave me in Ashram, I ll manage with somebody's help over there.. I can't see my son's toil and sleeplessness for nights...." Well, we hear (or atleast I have) heard even the richest ignoring their parents. though they love them, they just cant bare the pain in serving their parents.. But here was my Man, doing what is unmatched service ( who cares about literature.. I saw one in my home!! ). My grandpa was well-built and composed. I would see my father carrying his father as a child around places.. Kaana kann kodi thevai irunthathu!!

I would never have used the pc cam for a better purpose than picturing my father taking care of his.

#INTIMACY

Now, it has been one year since my Grandpa's demise and there broke a fight between parents over an issue about his clothes. And all I could see in my father was the pure and atmost love to his father in the fight.. And that was what my Mom was trying to overcome.. Who ll know this man better than she does?!

#ABILITY

Due to his procrastinating nature, he faced failures in many ventures irrespective of his hard-work, effort and intelligence.. This lead to a lot of criticism from the relatives whom are less talented than my father in many ways (which I say with 'garvam' ) which was unbearable and remains that way for me and my Mom.. He seldom cares about that.. And thats where the spark for other fights raise between my parents.. When we know he deserved enough credit for what he has done but was neglected or not given the same, we can never feel good about it.

#DECISION MAKING

Not just through his character and way of life, but also through his guidance through the life he has inspired me a lot and made me feel he is the man I look upto.. Even during adverse situations, he has always said, 'Never indulge in anything or never buy anything which doesn't give u 100% satisfaction.. Never haste into any decisions just considering few factors compromising ur satisfaction for it.. ' Damn!! Those were the lines driving my life!! '

#REFORMER

Thinking back, I would say My father was the first reformer, I saw. And the second one would be my Mom. While, it is not customary to allow women work in my relational circle aka caste ( as i perceive ), a man who encouraged and supported my Mom to work who in-turn supported the family economy, was my father. And I take pride in saying that he was more excited in our success while he was least bothered about his own though he saw and cherished our success as his own. 

#UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Still remember the reaction of  Prakash Raj on his child's cry ( from the Movie : Abhiyum Naanum ) And such was the love he has always shown to me and our family. Though we never really shared many pleasantries (which i sometimes feel bad about), Our conscience knows that We are there for each other all the time.

When all these thoughts ran through my mind with few more incidents (which I have avoided to defy from vagueness ), for a few moments, my throat choked... I felt like having tears (I actually had).. And that was the moment I decided to share this amazing feeling with others.. 

Love u Dad!! This is for u :-) You are my first mentor, friend, above all my beloved father :-)

A small passage i admired..

"A wise man once sat in the audience and cracked a joke..all of them laughed like crazy
After a moment he cracked the same joke again & a little less people laughed this time...

He cracked the same one again and no one laughed,

Then he smiled and said "when you cant laugh on the same joke again and again then why do you keep crying over the same thing over and over again".

Forget the past and MOVE ON.!!!"

Thought for the day: Mistakes are not meant to be repeated...

                Someone said, "Practice makes a man perfect...."..
               
                From the lessons i' ve had from my life, i understood one profound truth.. Practice is accompanied my mistakes.. No one can oppose that.. But each time you practice something you got to be better at it..rather than being in the same state... If not there is no purpose of practice in there except killing time and resources... Well said now ... Does that mean we are not supposed to commit any mistakes as we practice?


               Not at all.. This is my view... All i need myself to see is I just don't want to commit the same damn mistake which i committed in the previous session of practice.. That doesn't mean that i ll be devoid of mistakes.. Now as it goes i should see that i ve an element of improvement...


               Let me add that, " I've  always and continue to commit mistakes but never the same again....." And i take prestige in saying that... Certain stuff go unnoticed.. Like while practising for singing or dancing or any other form of art... We cant perfect it at the very second time we perform that or practice that... There mistakes are not actually mistakes... There comes actually the concept of improvement....


                With all this boring, long, weird, lecture of mine all i meant to say was..., "Progress must happen in life... No matter what..." Progress means not in time... but in our character, our learning, our experience, our way of understanding, our experience, our relationship with others, our maturity, our IQ, as a whole that part of life which ACTUALLY ADDS SENSE TO IT.... So I hope to never repeat the mistakes which i ve been repenting for the brief past.. Let that be brief but let our life's context not be brief......


              Continue to rock in life.........!!!!

Thought for the day- Punish yourself

       I never knew punishments were this good after what i am undergoing now... I think i will succeed even if i start after this punishment for the repeated crime yesterday.. i understand this doesnt make any sense for strangers... But what is more important is the consequences...
       
       If you feel that you have committed a mistake then better give yourself  a punishment otherwise you will be forced to undergo the punishment given by the third person-it can be your fate, god, friends, relationship, life whatever you name it... but its so true that it would be more harsh on you than your own punishment for self...


       I think i am right so i gave myself a punishment that i must undergo for this day... and i hope this would eventually change my life drastically in the positive sense...


       As someone says,


            " Work hard and get what you like or else you will force to like what you get"


      My line goes like this,
 
             " Punish yourself and make yourself sorry otherwise you would be forced for a harsher punishment by the will of god or nature"


      So punish yourself rather than giving the right to someone else... After all we like to have the ball in our court rather than someone else directing it... Isn't it?

Thought for the day- Promises are meant to be kept

"I give you a word!!"
"You can take my word for it"
"I promise!!"
"O god, please help me to hold to my promise!!"
"I wish I had kept my word the other day"


       These are just the lines ringing all the time in my ears ( if not my inner-self) now-a-days.. Still I continue to do the same crime i was doing before making all those blasphemous promises..Let me call that a blunder- a mistake that can never be corrected.. My pity, cant some one just stop me and say." Damn man!! you are not born for this!! Don't you dare repeat this again!!"..The least was me.. And I just continue to fail me..


       As someone said, "Human hearts just strive to find mistakes in others' perfection, while striving to find excuses for its own mistakes....!" How true!!


      Some one adds to this fact of all time as," We are so mean and lame that we continue to find some loop-holes in our words and promises and try to sum it up using those filthy loop holes...How disgusting!!"
  
      I feel so embarrassed when i get to realize that am one of those convicts of this major blunder which just goes unnoticed to make ordinary life and nature running at its pace.. O Lord...! Where is my self-conscience!! Wont there be someone to help me out!! Its already high time that i still didn't get rid of this!!


      So I hope some one would write a book on how to give a perfect word to someone else or inner-self!! So that me and the other convicts would learn from the book!! How sweet it would be!! After all we are all learners..and we continue to learn...


     Damn, what if there are some loop-holes in that book also..After all that book would be written by some other ordinary if not extra-ordinary human being who would have himself lost in many promises... Only god might help us or whether he himself has committed a blunder by creating such imperfect humans like us..(sorry me..I shouldn't have mentioned others as i don't have that liberty).. As the say goes..,


         "Practice makes a man perfect..No one is perfect then why practice....!!"..Let me have the least liberty to edit as.,


         "Promises makes a man perfect (by standing by it)..Seldom do they keep the promise..Then why promise...??!!"..how right ..( atleast for the moment!! )??

Thought for the day- Laziness is the first enemy of your dream

I ve always felt what 'Laziness' does to me...But now-a-days, it has crossed its bounds.. Now it has started shaking my belief and talent too.. It took me nearly my entire holiday period to overcome my evil in order to come to a resolution to start doing sth. effective.. Well then now its time to bounce back.. I can realise that i cant get back what i have lost.. Atleast I can repent my mistake..I suppose i will..Better be.. Or else who knows i might lose track of where i should have been going towards.. External factors always play a major role in shaping your mindset ...But its all your will power to fix and work towards your destination inspite of all that it takes..

I hope I am conscious and cautious of my past and the cost it made me pay in the future(of the past actually) so that i wont repeat the mistake (Its not an exaggeration to call it a BLUNDER...after all it cant be reset or corrected now)..

With all my conscience and this long(should have been brief) break, its time to start off....It better be the right time if not high time....

Buddy,its show time....